Five Year Reflection

Five years ago today, I surrendered. I finally admitted out loud that I could no longer manage on my own. I had reached rock bottom - that deep dark pit seemingly with no way out. I needed help, in a drastic way.

Being admitted into a psychiatric hospital was difficult. I've worked in them, and now faced the experience from the other side. Surrendering control, having my property checked and dangerous items removed, having to ask for my medication, adhering to a timetable, being watched and monitored, knowing that at every shift change I'm being talked about. And the fear - what if they wouldn't let me back out again? It was all so overwhelming.

However, if it wasn’t for that experience, I wouldn’t be here now. I didn’t have to worry about anything other than me. I was given so much support and so many different ways to understand, forgive, and heal. Expressing what was going on inside my head to people who understood—the staff, therapists, doctors, and most importantly, my peers—was life-changing. We shared tears, laughter, and silences, opened ourselves to one another, and picked each other back up. It still amazes me how close we became in such a short time.

Now, after three in-patient stays, numerous groups and classes, trialing different meds and doses, four individual therapists and much intense work, many self-development books, and countless doctor appointments later....here I am!

I asked the universe to protect and guide me. This led to me discovering the Holistic Healing College, and I am now a Spiritual Counsellor and Hypnotherapist. I've just started their Psychotherapy training. Trusting and being open to receiving messages from the universe then led me to the wonderful Going Beyond The Veil community, who have helped me to develop and validate my skills and abilities. I am so blessed to have found my people, my tribe.

I can honestly say that I am looking forward to the next five years and beyond. It's been a long, hard, healing journey, but I am feeling more at peace and I am excited about my expansion and what the universe has in store for me!